Cultural Confusion In A British Pub

In Britain, a pub has a unique place in society, being at one and the same time a drinking joint and a community centre, a public arena and the very real personal property of its owner. Given the pub’s high status in British social life, a distinct culture has evolved around it, with its own etiquette, history and tacitly understood rules of conduct.

As a tourist, or even a short-term regular, you’ll probably be excused from strictly following the rules, but if you’re planning to stay a bit longer, or just want to know why the Brits do some things the way they do, then learning  a bit more about the culture is a good way - and also of avoiding making any embarrassing mistakes yourself while you're there!

Don’t treat the publican and bar staff like servants. Historically, the Public House was the centre of the community. As such, the pub owner, or publican, has traditionally enjoyed a high status in the community, often being one of the leading figures in the smaller towns and villages. If this seems a rather peculiar approach, it may help to think of it this way: it’s not really a Public House in the sense it belongs to the public; it is the Publican’s House, which just happens have a few rooms serving drinks to the public (which may also help explain the publican’s traditional nickname of Landlord). In a very real sense, the Publican is the host, the bar staff are the assistant hosts, you’re the guest and it’s slow service and a booting out the door if you treat him like a servant or make a nuisance of yourself.

One of the modern legacies of this history is the etiquette rule that a publican and his bar staff are in no way inferior to the customers. In practical terms, this has a few consequences: The first is that you generally follow the same rules of behaviour as you would in anyone else’s house. Be polite to the staff, don’t walk into a pub just to use the restrooms and so on.

The second is that though the publican and his staff are obviously doing a service in return for payment, its not actually good manners to say so. Instead, the bar staff are considered to be providing an environment encouraging of socialization, community togetherness, and all that good stuff.

This attitude makes the word ‘buy’ rather taboo, as to the Brits it tends to imply an obligation to reciprocate, servitude and sometimes even brashness, all packed in one short word. To get around this problem, the Brits have thus evolved any number of discreet, byzantine ways to buy a pint from the bar, while at the same time downplaying the ‘paid transaction’ nature of the situation, while emphasizing the 'socializing' nature of the interaction. This include such minor things as not actually having waiters in the pub, frowning on impatient calls for ‘service’ and the like.

Tipping is also a strict no-no (as it implies servitude) - but if you genuinely want to show your appreciation to the staff, then you can offer to buy them a drink (as it implies equal status with the buyer). To do this, just say “…and one for yourself” at the end of your order. You can do this even when the bar is busy and the staff don’t have time to drink it immediately. It’s perfectly acceptable for them to accept, discreetly add the price of their drink (always very reasonable) to your order and enjoy the drink a bit later.

All this can be rather tricky for tourists to deal with if they’ve never encountered the traditional British squeamishness over appearing too money-minded. In most cases, tourists will be forgiven most infringes on this social convention, particularly as in recent years, the British themselves have become less self-consciously awkward about money (especially among the younger set).

Why do I get funny looks when I order my drink? In Britain, the unconscious assumption is that you are what you drink. The general rule of thumb is that lager is for lower and middle-class men, bitter is for the older generation, sherries, sweet liquors and wines are almost exclusively for women and only upper class drink anything else.

Not everyone will believe in (or admit to believing in) these stereotypes and fortunately, in recent years there’s been a general move away from these assumption, especially among the younger set in the bigger cities. Still, if you look like a middle class young man and you order a chocolate liquor, you may get some odd looks and a couple of comments. Most tourists will be exempt from this unconscious classification, especially if they stick only to the tourist pubs, but if you’re in one of the less tourist-oriented spots and encounter this attitude, at least you’ll know why.

DON’T introduce yourself. If you want to get a bit more in touch with the locals, then one thing to remember is: this is England, land of understatement, irony and stiff upper lips. The open, smiling, ‘Hi, my name is….” approach is liable to get you quickly labelled as too brash by half, and best avoided. Though obviously there'll be exceptions to every rule, generally in the UK, subtlety, obliqueness and the indirect approach are far more appreciated.

The usual approach is to drift casually into conversation, without sounding too pushy. If you want to keep the conversation going, you can casually ask, “Can I get you a drink?” or “Can I get you another?” (again, avoiding the word ‘buy’). If you feel uncomfortable carrying a conversation with someone whose name you don’t actually know, you can (very casually) ask for their name and THEN introduce yourself - but do be aware that it is entirely possible for a Brit to carry an hour-long conversation with a stranger without ever feeling the need to introduce himself.

Buy the round. This has to be one of the most famous of British pub quirks, but many tourists still get snagged over it. If you plan to stay long, your popularity with the natives will depend on your participation in the sacred ritual of round-buying. It’s pretty simple in concept: one person pays for everyone’s drinks in the first round, the next person in the second round and so on, this the first person is reached and everything starts over. The tricky bit is in the details: don’t think no-one will notice if you skip your round, because they will. EVERYONE keeps track of the rounds. If you buy expensive drinks on someone else’s round, and cheap stuff on your own round, that’ll be noticed too. And heaven help you if you start griping about how much it costs, since any sort of money-mindedness is distinctly un-British, and will automatically make you unpopular.

There are plenty of other little quirks and customs found in a British pub which you'll never run into in an American, or Australian bar. Some of these are such minor points that a visitor will probably never notice, while others can be fairly obvious differences in etiquette and approach, which may make a big impact on how well you're treated while you're in the pub. Either way, the best way to really get to know all these rules personally is to hop down to the local pub and observe - or break - them all yourself!

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Article Information
This article was written by AH Anuar and was first published 03 May 2005. This article is free for personal and commercial reproduction, with the following terms and conditions.